auntie cheryl recently told me about a book called “mommy doesn’t know my name“.  i could have written that book, because my mommy definitely doesn’t know my name.  i could have been rich!

did you know that when i was born, i didn’t even have a name?  when the birth recorder in the hospital came to fill out my birth certificate, mommy and daddy asked her to come back later because they didn’t know what to write on there!  so for the entire time we were in the hospital, everyone called me “baby boy”.  and the name stuck.  to this day, mommy and daddy still call me “baby boy”.  but mommy has lotsa other crazy names for me, too.

• sweetie pie, sugar pie, sugar:  i’m not sure if mommy is always hungry, or if i just look tasty.  miss denise says that mommy calls me those names because i’m so sweet.  i guess that could be true.  i am pretty sweet.  hey, who slapped a nametag on my butt?!
• shuga wuga:  this is a variation on “sugar”, but i like it better because it’s sillier
• king crazy hair:  this is me when i’m having a bad hair day.  and with my double cowlick, that’s all the time.
• kyderooni:  this funny name is what mommy uses when we’re playing together and i’m in a good mood
• crab monster:  this is what i get called when i’m in not so good of a mood
• faker faker trouble-maker:  guess when mommy calls me by this name.  yup, when she’s on to my fake-crying.  i gotta work on my acting skills!
• kyden-no:  i don’t like this nickname.  mommy calls me this when i’m banging on the entertainment center components, splashing in koda’s water bowl, eating fistfuls of dirt from our potted plant, or doing other fun things around the house.  when she calls me “kyden-no”, i stop what i’m doing and i turn around and look at her.  but then i realize that i shouldn’t be responding to this name if i want mommy to stop using it, right?  so i turn right back around and continue my banging/splashing/eating.

these are just some of my current nicknames.  remember when i was “chunky monkey“?  thank goodness that mommy has stopped calling me that — i didn’t appreciate the constant reminder of my full-figured physique.  with all the crazy nicknames that i have, mommy is truly shocked that i actually respond to my real name.  see, i’m not just a dumb jock.

mommy is a cool chick, and daddy is a hot guy.  literally.  their comfortable temperatures are about 10 degrees apart.  even so, they have somehow managed to co-exist for all these years.  when daddy is comfortable, mommy is shivering under a blanket.  and when mommy is comfortable, daddy is sweating bullets.

i am a hot guy like daddy.  there are times when i get sooo uncomfortably hot that i can’t eat, i can’t sleep, i don’t want to play…  i just want to crawl into the refrigerator and chill out.  but mommy can’t ever figure out why i am so upset.  thank goodness daddy gets me.  he rescues me and holds me in the cool breeze of the fan.  the fan is our friend.

there have been times when we’ve been out for a stroll, and mommy was just loving the afternoon sun.  meanwhile, the blazing heat was melting my skin off (even though i was protected in the shade of the stroller sun canopy).  i’d scream and scream until daddy realized that i was boiling.  thank gawd.  mommy would just let me melt!  i don’t think mommy gets me at all.

so just to remind mommy and everyone else that i am a hot guy, i got some fierce sunglasses with flames on them.  no, uncle greg, it’s not because i’m a flamer — it’s cuz i am hawt!

so there you have it.  i’m a hot guy.  if you didn’t know… now you know.

koda came home today.  for the past 3 nights, he was at his sister kiara’s house for a sleepover.  i missed him, but i hafta admit that it was kinda fun being an only child for a little while.  normally, weekends are for me and koda, but this weekend was all about me.  we were able to stay out and play all day and not worry about koda being bored and lonely.  so while koda and kiara were putting each other’s paws in warm water and crank calling animal control, i had a fun-filled weekend of my own.

after spending saturday at u-me with logan, we went to erik and matthew’s house for auntie jill’s birthday party.  i saw some old buddies, met some new friends, and we all got to play with a house full of toys!  it was so fun that i could have sworn that it was a kid party.

on sunday, i finally got to play with daddy’s new phone. my buddy isaac moved across the country, but with facetime on the iphone 4, i can see him all the time!  yay!  the audio and picture quality was fantastic — none of the lag that you get with a webcam.  so ladies, if you wanna see my handsome face, gimme a ring at… ummm… my daddy will give you the digits.  (how embarrassing.)  daddy, now that you have an extra iphone, can i have one of my own?

i also had my swim lesson on sunday, as usual.  and guess what — there is new girl in my class who is a model!  i figure she must be a sports illustrated model because she was swimming topless  boys, i’m telling you, AVAC is the place to be.

and the highlight of my weekend…  getting a mohawk with gung-gung!  don’t we look like twins?  actually, gung-gung’s mohawk is real.  mine is more of a fauxhawk.  gung-gung was loving the new ‘do that uncle jamie gave him, but i didn’t want those clippers anywhere near my lovely locks!   i’m all for bonding with my grandpa, but that’s taking it just a little too far.  although… i think daddy is in need of a haircut…  UNCLE JAAAAAMIE…!!!

today, logan and i took a drive up the peninsula to check out a new hangout spot called u-me. logan got in for free because he is under 6 months old. i tried to slip in without paying, but i got carded and ended up shelling out $20 for our family   i don’t get it. logan and i are almost the same size — don’t you think we can pass for the same age?

we had a good time, but like many local hotspots, there will be lots more for me to enjoy when i get older.

these are some of the things that i had fun playing with today:

personal ball pit:  now that i know how to swim, i’m not afraid of drowning in the sea of balls
ride-on fire truck:  it’s just as fun to walk behind and push it as it is to ride on it and be pushed.  mommy gave me a realistic fire truck experience, driving super crazy fast!
tent stocked with camping gear:  this was my favorite play area.  mmm, flashlights are tasty.  uncle greg!  i’m ready for the annual camping trip!
humungo legos:  it’s way more fun to knock down towers than to build them up
life-size ship:  i couldn’t see above the steering wheel, so i crawled out of a porthole to go for a “swim”

there are a lot more things for bigger kids that i will have more fun with when i get older:

giant slide:  you have to climb up a handful of platforms to get to the top of the slide.  it’s for ages 3 & up.  mommy said it was okay for us to climb up and slide down together because the average of our ages is definitely greater than 3.
play market:  it has a checkout scanner that beeps!
outdoor area:  i wasn’t allowed to play with the sidewalk chalk because they look like giant sweet tarts.
performance stage with mic stand and costume chest:  mommy raided the chest and dressed me and logan (and uncle greg) as girlie butterfly fairies!  gah!  i crawled away as fast as i could, but daddy was too quick with the camera on his new iphone 4.

oh, and for the grown ups…  there is an organic cafe where you old people can hang out and eat paninis and sip lattes and talk about us kids while we’re playing.  or you can play with your kids and take breaks to feed yourselves (and your kids), then go back for more playing!

u-me is probably too far away to make this a regular hang out, but it was fun to spend the afternoon checking out this new local hotspot.  thanks for joining me, logan!  from now on, we’ll pick our own costumes for dress up time.

anyone have any wrinkle cream recommendations or other tips for looking younger?  i’m determined to get in in for free next time

i don’t care what mommy says, i am an excellent swimmer.  i’ve only had a few lessons so far, but i already know how to jump into the water and make “big arms” and “kick kicks”.   the weird thing is that i sink like a rock when i’m swimming.  i don’t think that’s supposed to happen.  you’d think that my neck rolls would keep me afloat, right?  but i love swimming and i look good doing it, and that’s what counts   daddy wanted to make a movie of me swimming during my lesson today, but since i’m already an expert, i didn’t need to practice much.  instead, i worked on safety skills like holding myself up on the wall (which i wasn’t able to do a month ago!) and “walking” by sliding my hands along the edge of the wall.

oh, and 2 new kids joined my class today!  and you know what’s weird?  in all our other “baby & me” classes (like at gymboree and the little gym) babies bring their mommies.  why does everyone bring their daddies to swim school?  i didn’t get that memo.

logan, zachary, and i took 13 adults and 6 doggies out for a stroll along the alameda trail yesterday.  and naturally, we were the leaders of the pack!

but before i tell you about the afternoon walk, lemme tell you about our quest for an all-terrain stroller.  after lots of research and test drives, mommy and daddy decided that we should get a baby jogger city elite.  the problem was, nobody around here carries them.  so on saturday, we took a drive up the peninsula to lullaby lane in san bruno.  i got my luxurious new ride — on sale.  score!  and on the way home, we stopped in burlingame so that daddy could get a burrito and mommy could get some meringues.  it was a good day for all of us.  mommy even shared a meringue with me.  yummy

we were so excited about our new all-terrain vehicle (ATV) that we assembled it right away.  well, daddy assembled, mommy supervised, and i QA’d his work.  good job, daddy.  now that i have my ATV, we can go to koda’s favorite spots without mommy having to carry me the entire time.  she says i’m getting too heavy.  hmph.

so, back to yesterday’s walk…  cesar milan (a.k.a. the dog whisperer) brags about how he rollerblades with his pack of several dozen dogs.  well, me and my buddies cruised in our ATV’s, leading a pack of half a dozen dogs and more than a dozen humans.  cesar ain’t got nothing on us!  (this photo was taken by uncle eric.  mommy took a picture with her phone, but uncle eric said that his would turn out much better.  he was right.)

we all had a great time.  mommy and daddy got to catch up with good friends, koda got to swim and run around, and i got to cruise with my buddies on my ATV’s maiden voyage.  the long walk worked up our appetites, so we all went out to lunch and gorged ourselves on mexican food.  since i gobbled up all the food that mommy brought for me, uncle henry let me try some of his carnitas

koda and i were both so exhausted that we konked out in the car on the way home.  what a great day.

july fourth is supposed to be the day of four F’s — fireworks, food, friends, and fun.  but sadly, mommy and daddy haven’t seen fireworks for the past couple of years.  last year, it was because they stayed  home with koda, just in case he got frightened by the loud firecrackers (like most dogs do).  he was oblivious.  this year, nobody got to watch fireworks because they didn’t come out until way past my bedtime.  i guess it could be awhile before i get to see my first fireworks show.

but fireworks or no fireworks, nothing stops daddy from firing up the grill on the 4th of july.  daddy especially likes to grill steak.  and since steaks have eyelashes (and mommy is an anti-eyelashitarian), daddy had to call in backup.

luckily, uncle henry, uncle paul, and auntie leeya were up for the job!  chloe came over too, but she didn’t really help with the steak.   she and i mostly just played together — and what a fun time we had!

the last time chloe and i hung out, it wasn’t all that fun.  back then, i was a little preoccupied and self-conscious about being a pinhead.  but tonight was different.  we played together in my playpen and i shared my toys with her.  she kept blabbing about something that i couldn’t understand (typical girl, right?), so i had to shush her a couple of times.  i challenged her to a race, and she beat me by a mile.  then we had a re-match, and she beat me again!  i think she has a couple of distinct advantages:  (1) she doesn’t get distracted multiple times on the way to the finish line (like i do), and (2) she “crawls” using one knee and one foot!  (wait a minute…  is that cheating?)

so, on our 4th of july this year, we had lots of food, friends, and fun — but no fireworks.  3 outta 4 ain’t bad, right?  maybe we’ll hit the fireworks show next year

happy 9 month birthday to me

things i like:

• magic puffs (they are magic because they always put me in a good mood — no matter how unhappy i am)
• beef stew (daddy got mad because mommy has never made beef stew for him)
• froyo!  (mommy shares her froyo with me and i looove it!  but don’t tell anyone because i’m not supposed to be eating that stuff yet)
• “diving” and swimming (stay tuned for the video!)
• watching things spin (especially my clothes in the dryer)
• crawling backwards down the stairs
• opening and closing things (doors, drawers, containers, anything)
• buttons on other people’s clothing (i play with them for a little while, then eventually try to eat them)
• being tickled
• making “brrrrrt” noises with my lips (like blowing raspberries but without sticking out my tongue)
• watching mommy dance

things i don’t like:

• walking (i always fall down — and crawling is much faster, anyway)
• loud machines (vacuum cleaner and electric food mill are scary, but koda’s barking doesn’t bother me)
• people who stick needles in me and take my blood
• going to sleep when there’s a party going on

for about 3 months now, i’ve had a regular bedtime around 7:30pm.  and for the past two weeks, i’ve been sleeping through the night with only one midnight feeding.  (this just happens to be right around the time that mommy went on her last business trip.  coincidence?  i think not.)  this is my nighttime schedule:

• 6:00pm:  dinner
• 6:45pm:  bathtime (every other day)
• 7:00pm:  change into jammies, brush teeth
• 7:10pm:  bedtime stories
• 7:20pm:  nursing and singing
• 7:30pm:  zzzzz
• 12:30am:  midnight snack
• 6:00am:  rise with the sun

sure, i still wake up during the night sometimes, but mommy has learned that if she doesn’t come running, i almost always go back to sleep in less than a minute.

so this is great news, right?  well… sort of.  my predictable schedule works to mommy’s and daddy’s benefit most of the time, but it can also put a damper on their social life.  back in the day, i could go anywhere, anytime.  and if i got tired, i would just sleep — no matter where i was.  but now that i’m older, i’ve not only become set in my ways, but i’m also a party animal who doesn’t want to miss out on any action.

over the weekend, mommy and daddy brought me to a wedding reception.  they hoped that i would be so excited by all of the activities that i would be wide awake and wide-eyed with awe until i passed out from exhaustion — just like when we go to sharks games!  the wedding reception was beautiful and perfect, and it seemed like it was going to be a successful outing for us… until about 7:30pm.  i got sooo tired, but i refused to sleep.  where was my crib?  where was my bernie bear?  and why was i wearing slacks instead of my comfy footed sleeper?  plus, i didn’t want to go to sleep and miss out on the party!

i fought to stay awake for another hour and a half, but i was fussy and squirmy and very unhappy about not being allowed to climb and crawl around.  i think the only reasons why my aunties and uncles didn’t shove me into a closet are because (1) the music was almost loud enough to drown out my occasional screams and (2) i was pretty handsome in my fancy shirt and slacks.  daddy had to take me outside of the reception area (away from all of the fun festivities) before i finally fell asleep.

so…  what to do?  mommy and daddy think that i need to learn to adapt to different surroundings so that they can continue to take me places without causing a commotion.  i think that they need to adapt their social calendars (even more than they already have!) to revolve around my schedule.  i’m pretty sure that i’m gonna win this one.

i went to the doctor for my 9 month check up today.  i was just fine in the waiting room, and i was even okay in the exam room while on mommy’s lap.  but as soon as mommy laid me down on the table with the crinkly paper, i started having flashbacks of the big needles that have been stuck into me while i was in that very spot.  waaahhh! i hate that place.  i wriggled and squirmed, but to no avail.  i knew i should have spent more time practicing running so that i could have bolted outta there.

but to my surprise, no shots   yay!  the nurse weighed and measured me, and the doc looked into my ears and pressed by belly like usual.  mommy was a little sad to hear that i am “falling down the curve”, but doc said not to worry because i look great.  here are my current stats:

• weight:  18 lbs 14 oz  (27 %ile)
• length:  28.5 inches  (64 %ile)
• head circumference:  45.5 cm  (60 %ile)

notice anything odd?  i did!  how the heck can i be 27 %ile for weight when i still have all these arm/leg/neck rolls and multi-chins?!  and more importantly — my head finally caught up with the rest of me!  i’m no longer a pinhead!  hooray!  10 points for you if you picked up on that

so, i got a clean bill of health, and then i was home free.  or so i thought.  but instead of heading home, we went downstairs to another office.  i had never been there before, but i had a feeling it wasn’t going to be pleasant.  i would be right.

i sat on mommy’s lap and she held me tight so i couldn’t move.  mommy held my wrist, extending my arm so that the inside of my elbow was exposed.  a lady came and said that i have great veins, so this was gonna be easy.  what?!  WHAT was gonna be easy???

the lady stuck a needle into my arm, and i started thrashing around like a shark.  she wiggled the needle around inside my arm, into like 5 different positions!  waaahhh! she eventually pulled the needle out and bandaged me up.  whew.  she must have given up, so i was all done, right?  wrong.  she was just calling for backup.  needle lady said i was sooo strong and moving my arm sooo much that another guy had to come in to help.  so with three people holding me, she stuck a needle into my other arm and TOOK MY BLOOD!!!  waaahhh!

(apparently, 9 month olds get a standard blood test.  maybe if i turn out to be anemic, daddy will feed me steak!)

mommy says that i must have gotten her veins.  she is always being told that she has great veins, but she ends up getting poked 2x more than should be necessary.  during this whole ordeal, mommy looked so sad and kept telling me that she was sorry.  do you think she was apologizing for giving me her veins or for letting needle lady steal my blood?