i went to the doctor for my 9 month check up today.  i was just fine in the waiting room, and i was even okay in the exam room while on mommy’s lap.  but as soon as mommy laid me down on the table with the crinkly paper, i started having flashbacks of the big needles that have been stuck into me while i was in that very spot.  waaahhh! i hate that place.  i wriggled and squirmed, but to no avail.  i knew i should have spent more time practicing running so that i could have bolted outta there.

but to my surprise, no shots   yay!  the nurse weighed and measured me, and the doc looked into my ears and pressed by belly like usual.  mommy was a little sad to hear that i am “falling down the curve”, but doc said not to worry because i look great.  here are my current stats:

• weight:  18 lbs 14 oz  (27 %ile)
• length:  28.5 inches  (64 %ile)
• head circumference:  45.5 cm  (60 %ile)

notice anything odd?  i did!  how the heck can i be 27 %ile for weight when i still have all these arm/leg/neck rolls and multi-chins?!  and more importantly — my head finally caught up with the rest of me!  i’m no longer a pinhead!  hooray!  10 points for you if you picked up on that

so, i got a clean bill of health, and then i was home free.  or so i thought.  but instead of heading home, we went downstairs to another office.  i had never been there before, but i had a feeling it wasn’t going to be pleasant.  i would be right.

i sat on mommy’s lap and she held me tight so i couldn’t move.  mommy held my wrist, extending my arm so that the inside of my elbow was exposed.  a lady came and said that i have great veins, so this was gonna be easy.  what?!  WHAT was gonna be easy???

the lady stuck a needle into my arm, and i started thrashing around like a shark.  she wiggled the needle around inside my arm, into like 5 different positions!  waaahhh! she eventually pulled the needle out and bandaged me up.  whew.  she must have given up, so i was all done, right?  wrong.  she was just calling for backup.  needle lady said i was sooo strong and moving my arm sooo much that another guy had to come in to help.  so with three people holding me, she stuck a needle into my other arm and TOOK MY BLOOD!!!  waaahhh!

(apparently, 9 month olds get a standard blood test.  maybe if i turn out to be anemic, daddy will feed me steak!)

mommy says that i must have gotten her veins.  she is always being told that she has great veins, but she ends up getting poked 2x more than should be necessary.  during this whole ordeal, mommy looked so sad and kept telling me that she was sorry.  do you think she was apologizing for giving me her veins or for letting needle lady steal my blood?

you know those “then and now” photos that people take, where they find an old picture of themselves, and take a current one in the same pose? i thought i’d have some fun with that today.

that was me then…

this is me now!

who is that itty bitty wrinkly red baby in the “then” photo? i don’t even recognize him!

THEN: i was 1 month old

NOW: i am 6 months old

THEN: i weighed in at 10 pounds, 10 ounces

NOW: i weigh 16 pounds, 14 ounces (40 %ile)

THEN: i was 22.5 inches long

NOW: i am 27.75 inches long (88 %ile)

THEN: i was a cry baby (i wailed when i got just one shot)

NOW: i am a tough little boy (i got three shots today — whimpered for just a few seconds, but didn’t cry at all)

i used to be overweight, but now i am tall and skinny! i know what you’re thinking, but i don’t have a eating disorder. i’m obviously not anorexic — i eat all day long. and even though i sometimes gag myself by sucking on my fingers a little eagerly, i swear i’m not bulimic. it’s my daily cardio routine (rolling and bouncing around) that keeps the pounds off.

as for my newfound toughness, i’ll let you in on my secret. mommy! yup, mommy used to stand away from the exam table because she couldn’t bear to watch the big needle go into my little leg. i would cry, she would cry, and we would both be a mess. but today, mommy held my hands, kissed me on the forehead, and sang to me while my nurse administered the vaccinations. it was all done before i even realized it!

are you paying attention, little friends? learn from my pain, and train your mommies and daddies early

i went to see the mean guy and the mean lady today for my 4-month check up.  as usual, the mean lady made me take off all my clothes.  then she stretched me out on the table to see how tall i am and plopped me into the bucket scale to figure out how much i weigh.  i was so cold and so mad that i tried to pee on her.  i missed because she was too quick, and i ended up flooding the bucket instead

then the mean guy came in and pressed on my stomach, poked at my ears, stuck his fingers in my mouth… sheesh!  when he went for my testicles, that was the last straw.  i was so mad that i tried to pee on him too.  and guess what — i got him!  doc said that i am the first kid to win the “shoot the doctor” contest in a really long time.  yay me!  mommy told me to apologize, but the doctor said that he doesn’t blame me for getting revenge.  no hard feelings.

doc checked out my two little teeth and my full head of hair.  he said that he has only had one patient who got teeth earlier than i did.  he also said that most parents forget, but mommy and daddy must have remembered to check the hair and teeth options when they ordered me.  my doctor is so funny!

so, i weigh 15 pounds 2 ounces (55 %ile) and i am 26 inches long (83 %ile).  wowzers, i am getting to be so tall!  the mean lady made me eat the same yucky syrup and get the same two shots as i did at my 2 month appointment.  but at least mommy didn’t cry this time.  i am so proud of her

(mommy says that my nurse is actually a really sweet lady and that my pediatrician is a very nice man.)

everyone has been saying that i’m thinning out.  at first, i thought they were just talking about my hair, which is definitely getting thinner.  but mommy says i’m getting skinnier, too.  i guess my daily workout routine (dancing, crawling in place, and core strengthening in the cheater chair) is paying off.

now don’t be mistaken, i am still a chunky monkey.  but instead of 4 chins, i now only have 2.  and mommy used to say that i could smuggle contraband in my neck rolls.  i still can.  but instead of nuclear warheads, i can now only fit a dimebag or two.

to see just how much i’m growing (and because i no longer have monthly doctor’s appointments), daddy went out and bought me a digital scale.  i guess he doesn’t trust the wii fit.  or maybe he just got tired of it telling him that he is overweight.  anyway, daddy tested out the new scale by stepping on it while holding me.  he said that i must weigh 25 pounds because the scale read 25 pounds more than he thought he weighed.  that’s funny, cuz when mommy weighed me today, she said i weigh 15 pounds (62 %ile).  at my last doctor visit i was 75 %ile for weight, so i guess everyone’s right — i am thinning out.

we didn’t measure my length but i must be getting really tall.  for one thing, i am getting too long for the changing table in my pack ‘n play.  mommy and daddy don’t know what they’re gonna do!  and for another thing, i used to be the size of koda’s head, but now i am way taller than him.  it’s obvious from the photo that he only comes up to my shoulders when we lay down side by side

i got a clean bill of health at my check up today.

here are my latest stats:  12 pounds 14 ounces (75 %ile) and 23 inches (52 %ile).  now i’m no statistician, but i’m pretty sure that makes me officially overweight.  hmph.  stupid growth curves.  doc doesn’t seem concerned though, so neither am i.

i got more vaccinations today, too — two shots in the leg and some yucky syrup that i had to eat.  bleccch.  mommy cried when i got the shots.  i dunno what she was crying about.  i am the one that had big needles stuck in me!

at my doctor’s appointment today, i weighed in at… brace yourself… 10 pounds 10 ounces (66 %ile) and measured 22.5 inches long (74 %ile)!!!  OH… MY… GAWD…

my doctor says i’m growing like a weed.

daddy wants to know what the heck mommy is feeding me.  protein shakes?

gung-gung (grandpa quon) thinks i should go on a diet.

auntie barbara says mommy should bottle up her breastmilk and sell it for millions!

when i turn towards mommy and open and close my mouth repeatedly, mommy calls it my hungry hippo look.  she says i look just like the hippos in the children’s board game!  that’s how mommy knows when i’m hungry — which has been a LOT lately.

these past few days have been really tough on mommy.  just when she was getting good at deciphering my various whimpers and cries, i was suddenly fussy all the time, and she couldn’t figure out why.  it took her a few days to realize that i was going through my 3-week growth spurt.  i have been hungry all the time.  ALL… THE… TIME.  no joke.  plus, now that daddy has gone back to work, mommy doesn’t have him around for moral support.  poor mommy.

but at my doctor’s appointment today, i weighed in at 8 pounds 14 ounces (49 %ile)!  i have been gaining an average of 2 ounces a day, which is 2-4 times more than the average!  that made mommy feel much better.

oh, and guess what other exciting thing happened.  i received my very own package today!  mommy and daddy get deliveries all the time (the UPS driver is koda’s best friend), and now i can be just like them

the title of this entry has nothing to do with this post.  i don’t know what it means, but mommy told me to write it because she thinks it’s what i was thinking when daddy took this photo.  i don’t get it.  mommy says it’s something about austin powers.

anyway…  yesterday, mommy went out to get TDaP and flu vaccinations so that she won’t get sick and pass any bad germs to me.  she was worried about leaving daddy home alone with me for the first time.  but i took good care of him and we did just fine

mommy has also been really worried that i’m not eating enough.  mommy is my only source of food, but whenever she feeds me, i fall asleep after only a few minutes.  she tries to wake me up by poking me, stroking my cheeks, tickling my feet, stripping me down to my diaper, but nothing seems to work.  i get so comfy and warm when i’m curled up next to her that i just want to sleep.  and mommy won’t let daddy bottle-feed me because she doesn’t want me to get too attached to the bottle.

so today, after my bath (i had a real bath today now that my cute little belly button is all healed up), mommy and daddy took me to the hospital’s breastfeeding center.  we talked to a lactation consultant and i was weighed on the baby scale.  i’m supposed to be back up to my birth weight by tomorrow (the 2 week mark), but it turns out that i’m already 8 pounds 1.1 ounces — that’s 9 ounces more than when i was born!  i’m still only in the 31 %ile, but at least i’m packing on the pounds… errrm, ounces.  the lactation consultant said that whatever mommy is doing is working just fine and that she has nothing to worry about.  whew, what a relief!

can you believe that i wasn’t even supposed to have been born until tomorrow?  i wasn’t due to arrive until october 15!  i can’t imagine what these past two weeks would have been like if i was still scrunched up inside of mommy.  and mommy and daddy can’t image what these last 2 weeks would have been like without having me to hug and kiss all the time.

mommy and daddy took me to see the doctor today.  normally, the doc would have come to see me in the hospital, but since we got outta that place so quickly, we went to see him in his office instead.  he says that i look great!

i weigh 7 pounds 4 ounces and am 20.25 inches long.  that’s 1/4 pound lighter and 3/4 inch shorter than when i was born!  what?!  i am shrinking!  but i learned that it’s normal for me to lose weight in the first week and to shrink in length as my head finds its normal shape.  i am 26 %ile for weight and 58 %ile for length.

when the nurse did my bilirubin test in the hospital, she said that i was at low to medium risk for jaundice.  so to make sure i poop out all the bilirubin, mommy and daddy have been supplementing my feedings with a tiny bit (10-15mL) of formula to make sure i am eating enough.  today, the doctor said that i don’t need formula anymore now that mommy has enough milk for me.  yay!  daddy is especially happy because now he doesn’t have to get up every two hours to feed me a bottle.  double yay for him!