these are three articles of clothing that i have:

• army green cargo pants with “TRAFFIC JAM” stenciled in red
• green tea colored onesie displaying a royal blue colored bowl of soup captioned “miso cute”
• white bib with beige, orange, yellow, and pastel green accents, embroidered with a horse, cactus, and caterpillar and the words “HOWDY PARDNER”

what do these things have in common? absolutely nothing. oh, except for the fact that i wore all of them today. yes, together. at the same time.

how the heck did that happen? short story: this is what happens when daddy dresses me. for the long story, we need to back up a bit…

mommy helped throw a party for baby tai today. i think it’s weird to have a party for somebody who’s not even there, but girls do lots of strange things. mommy left early to pick up one of my aunties at the airport and then went to baby tai’s house to decorate. so the plan was for daddy to get me ready and bring me to the party later. as mommy was leaving, i overheard this conversation:

mommy: can you get the kid dressed and bring him over later?

daddy: sure.

mommy: put him in a cute outfit, ok?

daddy: of course!

well, daddy’s first challenge was to find me some clothes that matched. he figured that my shirt and pants were automatic winners because they are both in the green color family. green = green, right? (mommy says that daddy doesn’t understand the concept of hues unless they are accompanied by their corresponding hex values.) and daddy was sooo proud of himself for selecting a “matching” bib. he thought that it would be a nice accent piece to my outfit because the bib is mostly a neutral color but it has some green in it. and daddy had no doubt that this outfit would be cute because it said so right there on the shirt!

mommy was completely mortified when she saw me and the mismatched outfit that i was wearing. but in daddy’s defense, mommy never asked him to make me match, only to dress me in something cute. and let’s face it — i can make any outfit look cute 😉

way back when i was a baby, i was too little for my infant carrier/car seat, which is designed for kids up to 32 pounds.  (32 pounds, seriously?  who’s gonna carry around a 32 pound kid in a 10 pound carrier?  note to self:  write a product review about my infant carrier.)  mommy and daddy didn’t like the infant insert that came with the carrier, so they got me a snuzzler.  it is warm and cushy, and it kept me tucked into my carrier as snug as a bug in a rug.  as promised, it provided proper head, neck, and back support during car rides, and because it is two separate pieces, it grew with me as i grew taller.  as an added bonus, it kept me warm and cozy during the cold fall and winter months.  summer babies, i don’t know what to tell ya.  sucks to be you.

because i love the snuzzler so much, i used it for as long as i possibly could.  (do they come in adult sizes?  i want to get one for mommy!)   don’t i look so comfy in it?  now, before you start judging me, please note that i posed this photo for product demo purposes only.  i wouldn’t go out in public without pants on — what kind of boy do you think i am?!

about a week ago, the snuzzler started to feel uncomfortably snug.  so i graduated to the cradler.  the cradler is supposed to support my head and jaw to keep my head from flopping forward or sideways.  it doesn’t.  since i have good head control now, i like to lift my head to look around.  but when i lean back to rest my head, one of two things happens:

1. the sides of the cradle collapse slightly inward, preventing my head from moving  back into position.  this forces my head to stay flopped forward, and it’s so uncomfortable!  it is also a driving hazard because mommy is constantly looking back to make sure my head isn’t bobbling around.
2. my ears fold forward and they get stuck in that position.  is it just me and my big ears?  i know it’s not because of my big head — we’ve already established that i have a pinhead.

please let me know if you know how to prevent these  issues.  i’ll be your best friend!

snuzzler by kiddopotamus: 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 (out of 5 :))

cradler by kiddopotamus: 🙂 🙂 (out of 5 :))

happy 4 month birthday to me 🙂

things i like:

• pulling the nursing cover open when i’m eating so that mommy can flash everyone
• mirror time (still one of my favorite things)
• grabbing, pinching, and pulling everything within arm’s reach (including my own hair, daddy’s neck, mommy’s underarm flab, and koda’s ears)
• putting everything that i can get my little hands on into my mouth
• crawling in place (although i get frustrated after a few minutes when i realize that i’m not moving anywhere :()
• my baby swing (wheeeee!)
• my cheater chair

things i don’t like:

• loud noises (i used to be oblivious, but now they startle me!)
• wearing pants (i kick and kick and kick so that mommy and daddy have a difficult time getting me dressed)

i went to see the mean guy and the mean lady today for my 4-month checkup.  as usual, the mean lady made me take off all my clothes.  then she stretched me out on the table to see how tall i am and plopped me into the bucket scale to figure out how much i weigh.  i was so cold and so mad that i tried to pee on her.  i missed because she was too quick, and i ended up flooding the bucket instead 🙁

then the mean guy came in and pressed on my stomach, poked at my ears, stuck his fingers in my mouth… sheesh!  when he went for my testicles, that was the last straw.  i was so mad that i tried to pee on him too.  and guess what — i got him!  doc said that i am the first kid to win the “shoot the doctor” contest in a really long time.  yay me!  mommy told me to apologize, but the doctor said that he doesn’t blame me for getting revenge.  no hard feelings.

doc checked out my two little teeth and my full head of hair.  he said that he has only had one patient who got teeth earlier than i did.  he also said that most parents forget, but mommy and daddy must have remembered to check the hair and teeth options when they ordered me.  my doctor is so funny!

so, i weigh 15 pounds 2 ounces (55 %ile) and i am 26 inches long (83 %ile).  wowzers, i am getting to be so tall!  the mean lady made me eat the same yucky syrup and get the same two shots as i did at my 2 month appointment.  but at least mommy didn’t cry this time.  i am so proud of her 🙂

(mommy says that my nurse is actually a really sweet lady and that my pediatrician is a very nice man.)

i spent this weekend hanging out with older women.  saturday was madisen’s 1st birthday party, and sunday was brooke’s.  i have a funny feeling that these are the first of very many 1st birthday parties that i’ll be going to this year.  i guess 2009 was a popular year for babies.

there were about 25 people at maddie’s party, but there was enough food for 200!  teri chicken, kalbi, kalua pork, spam musubi, mac salad…  yup, maddie did it up island style.  mommy was sooo excited about the pineapple with li hing powder!  after we ate, we played with the toys, books, and soft blocks that maddie brought to share with her friends.

at brooke’s party, there were about a million people.  i’m not really sure exactly how many because i can’t count that high.  but there were a lot.  brooke served good ol’ southern style bbq — big piles of meat with buckets of finger-licking delicious bbq sauce.  after lunch, a big pink and silver thing descended from a tree.  it looked sort of like a medieval morning star.  i wonder if that’s why all the big kids took turns whacking it with a big stick until its guts spilled out.  mommy said that it was actually a pointed star pinata, and that its “guts” were just candy and dress-up jewelry.

the two parties were very different, but both were a lot of fun.  over the past couple of days, i learned a lot about how older women party.  i also took some notes about what i want for my own 1st birthday party later this year:

• mountains of food – YES!
• toys for friends to play with – YES!
• pink princess hats for my friends – hats, maybe.  pink, no.  (and if you tell me that real men wear pink, you’re not invited.)
• birthday tiara for myself – umm, no.
• medieval weaponry – undecided.  (depends on how rowdy my guests are.)
• big cake for my guests – YES!
• my very own cake that i can smear all over my face – DOUBLE YES!  (do you see the look that maddie gave me when i smashed my hand into her cake?  it was worth it though.  the cream cheese frosting that i licked off of my hand was delicious!)

birthday parties are so much fun.  i can’t wait until i get old, too 🙂

sometimes it’s hard to be sharks fan.  i’m not just talking about being down 0-3 before you get into your seats… then fighting through the next 2.5 periods to force OT… then losing 97 seconds later.  (that happened last night.)  and i’m not just talking about the heartbreak of seeing your first place team fall apart in playoffs.  (mommy says that happens every season.)  i guess those things might be expected.  but there are hazards that nobody ever tells you about:

getting your head bitten off:  sharkie tried to eat me last night!  i was scared cuz daddy wasn’t there to save me, but mommy came to my rescue.  i’m not sure if this will leave me traumatized for life.  so, if mommy and daddy take me scuba diving when i get older, and i refuse to jump off the boat…  please remind them of this post.
getting attacked by a monster burrito:  i was pinned underneath a burrito twice my size!  (yup, our row “won” a 4-foot burrito!)  it’s a good thing there were so many good samaritans sitting nearby to save me.  as they stabbed that monster to death and  cut it into pieces, its guts got splatted all over me.  mmm, tastes like chicken 😛  i wonder if i will be scarred by this.  is there such a thing as burrito-phobia?

extra!  extra!  read all about it!  i have exciting news.  i rolled over today — by myself!

every day, i have floor exercise time and i practice rolling from back to tummy.  i can almost do it by myself, but i need mommy’s and daddy’s help because i get stuck on my shoulder.  once i’m on my tummy, i spend a few minutes “crawling” — sometimes i rotate in circles and sometimes i actually move forward at a rate of about one inch per minute.  then when i get tired of holding up my big head, mommy and daddy help me roll over onto my back.  but i surprised mommy today by rolling over from my tummy to my back by myself!  yay me!

and guess what else i did today during my floor exercises.  i was able to grab things out of mommy’s hand!  first, the mirror from my play yard, then my stuffed inchworm, then my teething ring of plastic keys…  i grabbed them out of mommy’s hand and put them right into my mouth.  now that i’m starting to get a little bit more mobile, i can’t wait to explore the house to see what other tasty things are lying around 🙂

after accomplishing so much today, i am going to reward myself by going to the sharks game tonight.  daddy has to work (again), so i’m going to bring mommy and gung-gung.  after tonight, i’ll have gone to more sharks game this season than daddy has!

since i have a lot of new little friends on the way, i’ve decided to help them out by writing reviews about baby gear and supplies that i’m using.

it might seem odd that my first product review is for a diaper rash ointment since i don’t have a diaper rash problem.  i think i had a mild rash one or two times, but with just a dab of butt paste, it was all gone by my next diaper change.  that testimony alone might be enough to give boudreaux’s butt paste a rave review, but there’s more.

being a chunky monkey has its pros and cons.  the biggest pro is that it makes mommy happy.  while a chubby baby is not necessarily the sign of a good mom, i heard that it makes moms happy.  after all, it’s their only tangible reward for all the effort and pain of breastfeeding!

the biggest downside to being a chubby baby is having neck rolls.  so many people think it’s cute, but lemme tell you, it’s downright yucky.  it’s only a slight exaggeration when mommy says i can smuggle contraband in there.  in actuality, all sorts of other things hide in those rolls:  drool, milk, shirt lint, blanket fuzz, sweat, etc.  no matter how much mommy cleaned my neck and tried to keep it dry, nothing worked.  people suggested using a bit of cornstarch or baby powder, but it just ended up turning into a smelly paste since the area never sees the light of day.  ewww, gross.

two nights ago, my neck was more red and chafed than usual, and even a little bit raw.  mommy had already tried everything else, so she gave the boudreaux’s butt paste a try — on my neck!  i thought that was so silly.  it’s butt paste, not neck paste!  but she explained to me that the idea is the same — it prevents chafing and helps to heal my delicate skin.  and guess what… it totally worked!  by the next day, my neck was completely healed!  my neck feels better than ever and not even the slightest bit red.  mommy is so smart!  i just wish she had that brilliant idea a long time ago.  i’m guessing that any diaper rash ointment would have done the trick, but none of the others are as fun to say as “boudreaux’s butt paste”!

boudreaux’s butt paste: 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂 (out of 5 :))

everyone has been saying that i’m thinning out.  at first, i thought they were just talking about my hair, which is definitely getting thinner.  but mommy says i’m getting skinnier, too.  i guess my daily workout routine (dancing, crawling in place, and core strengthening in the cheater chair) is paying off.

now don’t be mistaken, i am still a chunky monkey.  but instead of 4 chins, i now only have 2.  and mommy used to say that i could smuggle contraband in my neck rolls.  i still can.  but instead of nuclear warheads, i can now only fit a dimebag or two.

to see just how much i’m growing (and because i no longer have monthly doctor’s appointments), daddy went out and bought me a digital scale.  i guess he doesn’t trust the wii fit.  or maybe he just got tired of it telling him that he is overweight.  anyway, daddy tested out the new scale by stepping on it while holding me.  he said that i must weigh 25 pounds because the scale read 25 pounds more than he thought he weighed.  that’s funny, cuz when mommy weighed me today, she said i weigh 15 pounds (62 %ile).  at my last doctor visit i was 75 %ile for weight, so i guess everyone’s right — i am thinning out.

we didn’t measure my length but i must be getting really tall.  for one thing, i am getting too long for the changing table in my pack ‘n play.  mommy and daddy don’t know what they’re gonna do!  and for another thing, i used to be the size of koda’s head, but now i am way taller than him.  it’s obvious from the photo that he only comes up to my shoulders when we lay down side by side 🙂

there are a couple of new skills that i’ve been trying to master.

sitting up: i’ve been practicing sitting up by myself on the floor, bed, couch, and basically anywhere i can.  it’s so much better than lying down because i can get a full view of everything around me instead of staring at the white ceiling.  the problem is that i fall over to the side unless somebody is holding me.  but guess what — i got a cheater chair!  with this chair, i can sit up all by myself, all the time.  it’s supposed to help me develop strong core muscles (like baby pilates!) so that i can learn to sit up on my own.  but why bother?  this chair is my very own baby-sized la-z-boy.  don’t i look comfy?  all i need is my bottle and the remote control and i’ll be set 🙂

an unexpected discovery that i made with the cheater chair is my toes.  they’ve never been so accessible before!  my toes look like they’ll be even tastier than my fingers, but i haven’t been able to get them into my mouth yet.  i’m getting very close, though.  i can’t wait!

rolling over:  mommy was so excited when i rolled over from my back to my tummy.  but i did it on our bed, so mommy put me on the floor to see if i could do it again.  i came sooo close, but i kept getting stuck on my side because my shoulder gets in the way.  oh well.  mommy thinks that i can only roll on the bed because the cushy pillow top mattress helps me to clear my shoulder.  but actually, i think that mommy is so heavy that she creates a slope in the bed 😛  is that cheating?