auntie cheryl recently told me about a book called “mommy doesn’t know my name“.  i could have written that book, because my mommy definitely doesn’t know my name.  i could have been rich!

did you know that when i was born, i didn’t even have a name?  when the birth recorder in the hospital came to fill out my birth certificate, mommy and daddy asked her to come back later because they didn’t know what to write on there!  so for the entire time we were in the hospital, everyone called me “baby boy”.  and the name stuck.  to this day, mommy and daddy still call me “baby boy”.  but mommy has lotsa other crazy names for me, too.

• sweetie pie, sugar pie, sugar:  i’m not sure if mommy is always hungry, or if i just look tasty.  miss denise says that mommy calls me those names because i’m so sweet.  i guess that could be true.  i am pretty sweet.  hey, who slapped a nametag on my butt?!
• shuga wuga:  this is a variation on “sugar”, but i like it better because it’s sillier
• king crazy hair:  this is me when i’m having a bad hair day.  and with my double cowlick, that’s all the time.
• kyderooni:  this funny name is what mommy uses when we’re playing together and i’m in a good mood
• crab monster:  this is what i get called when i’m in not so good of a mood
• faker faker trouble-maker:  guess when mommy calls me by this name.  yup, when she’s on to my fake-crying.  i gotta work on my acting skills!
• kyden-no:  i don’t like this nickname.  mommy calls me this when i’m banging on the entertainment center components, splashing in koda’s water bowl, eating fistfuls of dirt from our potted plant, or doing other fun things around the house.  when she calls me “kyden-no”, i stop what i’m doing and i turn around and look at her.  but then i realize that i shouldn’t be responding to this name if i want mommy to stop using it, right?  so i turn right back around and continue my banging/splashing/eating.

these are just some of my current nicknames.  remember when i was “chunky monkey“?  thank goodness that mommy has stopped calling me that — i didn’t appreciate the constant reminder of my full-figured physique.  with all the crazy nicknames that i have, mommy is truly shocked that i actually respond to my real name.  see, i’m not just a dumb jock.