i went to the doctor for my 9 month check up today.  i was just fine in the waiting room, and i was even okay in the exam room while on mommy’s lap.  but as soon as mommy laid me down on the table with the crinkly paper, i started having flashbacks of the big needles that have been stuck into me while i was in that very spot.  waaahhh! i hate that place.  i wriggled and squirmed, but to no avail.  i knew i should have spent more time practicing running so that i could have bolted outta there.

but to my surprise, no shots   yay!  the nurse weighed and measured me, and the doc looked into my ears and pressed by belly like usual.  mommy was a little sad to hear that i am “falling down the curve”, but doc said not to worry because i look great.  here are my current stats:

• weight:  18 lbs 14 oz  (27 %ile)
• length:  28.5 inches  (64 %ile)
• head circumference:  45.5 cm  (60 %ile)

notice anything odd?  i did!  how the heck can i be 27 %ile for weight when i still have all these arm/leg/neck rolls and multi-chins?!  and more importantly — my head finally caught up with the rest of me!  i’m no longer a pinhead!  hooray!  10 points for you if you picked up on that

so, i got a clean bill of health, and then i was home free.  or so i thought.  but instead of heading home, we went downstairs to another office.  i had never been there before, but i had a feeling it wasn’t going to be pleasant.  i would be right.

i sat on mommy’s lap and she held me tight so i couldn’t move.  mommy held my wrist, extending my arm so that the inside of my elbow was exposed.  a lady came and said that i have great veins, so this was gonna be easy.  what?!  WHAT was gonna be easy???

the lady stuck a needle into my arm, and i started thrashing around like a shark.  she wiggled the needle around inside my arm, into like 5 different positions!  waaahhh! she eventually pulled the needle out and bandaged me up.  whew.  she must have given up, so i was all done, right?  wrong.  she was just calling for backup.  needle lady said i was sooo strong and moving my arm sooo much that another guy had to come in to help.  so with three people holding me, she stuck a needle into my other arm and TOOK MY BLOOD!!!  waaahhh!

(apparently, 9 month olds get a standard blood test.  maybe if i turn out to be anemic, daddy will feed me steak!)

mommy says that i must have gotten her veins.  she is always being told that she has great veins, but she ends up getting poked 2x more than should be necessary.  during this whole ordeal, mommy looked so sad and kept telling me that she was sorry.  do you think she was apologizing for giving me her veins or for letting needle lady steal my blood?